Hissy Fit

That creature you see in the above photo is Jez’s extra large beast of a dog named Harry Potter. He’s not all that bad as far as dogs go. Except, he’d got my human wrapped around his furry paw, and believe me he knows it.

He does tend to smell a little funky because Jez lets him wade in the lake or any mud puddles he happens to encounter. We won’t even mention that time he had the run in with the skunk. Or when he got banned from Pet Smart for dragging a cat around in a carrier on adoption day.

Anyhoo… My beloved state of Florida is doing something absolutely insane by putting together an anti-snake task force to rid the over population of Burmese Pythons. You can read that cute little Bronx Zoo’s Cobra’s take on the story right HERE.

These morons apparently think there is such a thing as too many snakes and that they can train dogs to go into the swamps and find them. Let’s get real here, Harry ain’t gonna sniff out anything but a pizza.

These Pythons are just out there enjoying the Florida sunshine and minding their own business. A snake ain’t gonna bother you, unless you decide to bother them first. Then your ass is grass. Because much like me, snakes don’t play nice when angered.

I don’t know too many Pythons, I’m a fan of rattlers and copperheads myself, but I do know that most snakes are very sensitive and misunderstood creatures. They don’t like people or dogs sneaking up on them. I mean would you like some fat smelly dog to come barging in and disturb you lounging around on your vacation? I don’t think so!

For the record snakes make way better pets than dogs. You don’t have to get up early and walk them in all kinds of weather. They don’t lick your dirty panties (Harry dog has that weird little fetish). You don’t have to give them baths. You don’t have to spend a small fortune to keep them in pizza and dog treats.

Snakes are smart creatures. They come and go as they please. They keep your home rodent free. They also creep out people you don’t want messing around with your personal affairs. Not to mention how cute and cuddly they are.

If that Bronx Zoo Cobra would like to take a vacation I’d be glad to host him here in Nashville. Marat, our pet rat snake who for some reason Jez will not allow inside the house, would enjoy the company. And I promise to keep the Harry beast from bothering Mr. Cobra.

Dogs sniffing out Pythons, that’s just the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard…

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